I enjoy spaghetti!

Recently there have been lots of signs for online dating. This got me thinking of what my profile would look like if I had an online dating account.

Hi I'm Red...literally. I'm 6'4", about 200lbs with well defined tan lines, barely visible eyebrows and some heavy duty saddle bags. I like long bike rides and talking to myself on back country roads. I'm looking for someone who enjoys quoting youtube videos and is willing to smother me with sunscreen. You can find me on Youtube by searching keyword: techno viking.

Ohio is confusing to me. Most of the really small, backwoods, podunk towns that I visit here have been some of the friendliest and most hospitable. But when I arrive in a medium sized town (10-30 thousand people) I get harassed more than in most other states. In 3 separate towns, 3 different women shouted things at me from their cars. Surprisingly, or maybe not, all of them fit the same description: between 40-60 years of age, driving an early 90's Chevy Astro Van(not the nice one with the 10" TV and VCR, just a standard Astrovan), missing several front teeth, and wearing a white t-shirt. I only caught. What one of them said and it confused the hell out of me. As I rode past her while she was stopped at a stop light, she stuck her head out the window and shouted "you better ride your ass off!" I was not sure how to take this comment. Was this woman hitting on me or was she about to reach for a gun? Either way I took her advice and got the hell out of Defiance, IN.

I did meet one very nice lady from Holland though. Her name was Truus Leader and she thought my bike ride was an great story, so good in fact that she asked if she could write about me in the local paper. I agreed after she gave me a bar of chocolate and was offering to buy me other things at the Walmart where I ran into her. I was amused by her impressions of her new home in Napoleon, IN and how backwards she thought the place was.
I spoke with her and her dog Lulu (yeah I talk to dawgs...what of it!) For a bit and then continued on my way.

-Marcus